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| Tuesday, October 17th, 2006 | | 6:48 pm |
In Lieu of "top 10 ways to die" I present
Top 10 things that needs to be [in a] videogame tis a work in progress 10: the ability to hold man's head under water until the bubbles stop 9: an enjoyable ninja stealth game 8: A game where a failed *insert action here* results in being eaten by a shark. 7: Aliens [Vs Predator] powered by the Doom or Unreal engine 6: more games that stream in other players (like test drive) 5: Bhuddist Monkey: the game 4: An anti tank rifle 3: Freespace 3 2: MORE EVENT DRIVEN MUSIC! 1: A sonic game that doesn't suck | | Monday, October 16th, 2006 | | 8:46 pm |
My Ninja Cock is so Wii!!! My official take on the Wii is as follows. I really REALLY like the idea of the control interface. Every once in a while I see a game they have lined up… ie: red steel… and I drool. I really do agree that developers (or at least publishers) need to break out of some of the broken conventions that make up the core best sellers (grand theft auto, halo… anything EA) and think outside the box. But then I remember that this is Nintendo we’re talking about here. Nintendo has relied on their own 1st party games to differentiate themselves from the likes of sony and Microsoft… and man did they go over the high side. Mario has lost it’s drug induced edge. Pikman was a bad premise made worse by horrible design (but it was fun to drown the little m-fuckers). Zelda was never good to begin with (I have no idea why it’s always proclaimed as the best game ever… I think of so many games that does what Zelda does, but better). Mario Kart remains the most boring racing game ever. Smash Bros. if stripped of it's own fan service would basically just be a boring frustrating... I don't even know what to call it. and how many mario parties do we need!?!? And in a way, I can’t really blame Nintendo… because the one exception to the rule… metroid (okay, it was 2nd party) was the one game that defied it’s own well documented convention (with the debatable exception of windwaker), and was met with strident criticism…. And the game ended up basically being Zelda in the 1st person (except the exploration part was actually fun). God damn Nintendo fanboys. So yeah… I’m just having a really hard time thinking of the wii being anything but a gimmick. I mean, the idea has potential… but will Nintendo or any other developer decide to make use of that potential, or just take the road of least resistance, and bastardize franchises that had already been bastardize on other platforms (COD anyone?). I may be wrong, and time will certainly tell. If I do get one, it will merely be supplemental to my existing collection (where the xbox 360 reigns supreme), and it’ll also be towards the end of this generation. | | 11:34 am |
| | Saturday, October 14th, 2006 | | 11:12 am |
quickie gamer update
Beta for PSU came out a couple days ago. WoW (assuming it's as good as everyone says), i'd happily pay a fee for. this crap. fuck-no. Got TOCA 3 because virgin megastore was having a closing sale. $10 new. now if only it was on the backwards compatability list. Got Black used, cuz I just felt like shooting something. it's exactly as advertised. That leaves Gears of War, FEAR, Legacy, Bioshock, Lumines, and the half life pack. Unless I am lucky enough to find fatal frame, i feel like black will be my last purchased xbox game. I was looking at a longest journey... but usually when people report that a videogame had a good story, they just mean it had a sad droopy faced moment. | | 10:15 am |
bitch-n-moan
Sometimes I feel like I’m the only native New Englander who’s actually acclimated to the cold, and it annoys the fuck out of me. It was cold this morning. Low 30’s. I stepped out, and lo and behold, I was cold. Freezing even. However, just because it’s cold out, it doesn’t justify JACKING THE HEAT UP TO THE 80’S!!!! My god, when it’s cold out, you can actually keep the heat lower just because you’re more acclimated. I mean, aside from the fact that it’s easier to warm up than cool down, it just makes no sense to keep the indoor climate jungle-like atmosphere. I just know so many people who sit there in a mid 70’s and bitch on how they’re freezing. WELL PUT ON A FREAKING SWEATER, YOU DUMB SHIT!!! What I don’t get is how I have this amazing ability to produce body heat. At 5’11, I barely push 140 ib, all logic dictates that I should be freezing with the rest of them. Like I said, I stepped out today, in a fleece pullover, and I was cold… but guess what, I moved, and eventually I was warm again. What gets me most though is how these people who can’t do something so simple as produce their own body heat don't understand that they HAVE HEALTH ISSUES! YOUR DIET IS CAUSING YOUR METABOLISM TO RUN SLOW!!! EAT SOMETHING!!! YOU HAVE POOR BLOOD CIRCULATION!!! EXERCISE!!! YOUR FACE LOOKS LIKE A BOWL OF OATMEAL!!! DIE!!!! Hi, I’m operating on about 3 hours of sleep. Could you tell? | | 8:23 am |
Travis: PREPARE YOUR BLADDER FOR IMMENANT RELEASE!!!!!
You know that "castlevania sucks" rant you posted a while ago? I wholeheartedly agree with you. As far as games goes, completely style over substance.... buuut... UPDATE Warren Ellis to Write Castlevania; Collective Geek Orgasm Soils Entire Planet Warren Ellis, creator of Planetary, Transmetropolitan, Nextwave, and the upcoming webcomic showcase Rocket Pirates is slated to write the Castlevania animated film. Also, I got the nod to say what the animated D2DVD movie I'm writing is called. It's called CASTLEVANIA. Based on the longrunning series of videogames. For an entity currently known only as Project 51 Productions. A production blog will follow on the official site. Nothing else is known at this time, but the best insurance against this movie being steaming moose pucky is hiring Ellis to write it. With a touch more luck we'll get some decent artwork and it'll all come together. Eliza "Jerusalem" Gauger Castlevania [WarrenEllis.com] WE GOT CONCEPT ART! Hit the jump! *ahem* OHMYGOD!!!! WHYYYYYYY!?!? I mean, warren ellis is amazing... he was the writer of both Stormwatch & the Authority, plus a dozen of other stuff. He's also sick n' twisted in a special kinda way... I mean he did do the Authority where they KILLED GOD!!!! I really hope he was ropped into the project. I mean, if anyone can make castlevania palatable, it's warren ellis, but if he was a previous fan, I've lost a lot of respect for him. *edit* a quick look into warren ellis's blog produced these: Apparently I can now tell people that I’m writing a CASTLEVANIA animated film for Project 51 Productions. So, um. Yeah. Project 51 will be setting up a production blog for CASTLEVANIA in the near future. and Following this, I am getting pelted with questions about my involvement in a possible CASTLEVANIA TV series, apparently because my name is linked with it here. I had nothing to do with the linking of my name with CASTLEVANIA, have never played the game and have never clapped eyes on James Jean, whom I believe is a popular illustrator with the young people of today. I have no further comment to make at this time. Obviously, I am to be trusted in all things. – W I'd call that terse. Well warren ellis's reputation as a man of good (see: sick, but in a good way) taste has been preserved. he was ropped. Frankly, the quality of the Castlevania movie is gonna be directly proportionate to Warren Ellis's involvement. if he has control over character design (his primary strength), we could be looking at a good film. at worst, we can expect a lousy movie with surprisingly good dialogue. this isn't the first time I've seen a 3rd party fail to take advantage of warren's skills. odds are, Warren just sees this as a mortgage payment. | | Thursday, October 12th, 2006 | | 5:59 pm |
Cuz I've got troups to entertain
I have a well documented love for specialized videogame controllers. Ze Sidewinder Flight stick, and the Steel Battalion controller for instance. unfortunately the document also makes frequent notes on how these controllers tend to collect dust, as I usually just don't have the means to use them. But that sure as hell ain't stopping me from going out to get more. and so, next month, I shall be aquiring: ( Read more... ) | | Monday, October 9th, 2006 | | 5:15 pm |
Last Winter, I talked with a lot of different people about the infamous "1 YEAR LATER" scheme in "Lay Down your Burdons". A lot of people didn't like it, and I'm not entirely sure why. It was a huge change... and we all know how people never like it, but at the time, i saw a lot of potential in it. After a couple years of the BSG crew being on the run, I felt the show was getting a little mundane, which was evident in episodes like Black Market, and Epiphanies. the show needed to add another element... and I thought completely new circumstances could be exactly what the doctor ordered. over half a year later (friday), I was proven right. This was potentially one of the best episodes to date, not because it was heart stopping, breathless, and tightly written (though it was still all of these things), but it was just a perfect story. Not only did it go about setting the stage, but it progressed as well... which is really hard to do (the miniseries is a great example. as much as I loved it, half of it was spend on progression-less stage setting). "Occupation" was just a completely satisfying meal. I love this show so much, as it's just everything a story should be. In short, if you refuse to give this show a chance (it's not possible 'not' to like this show), than I will never like you. Anyway, onto characters! Adama: There really isn't much to say anymore. Adama is simply doing what he does best. He knows that, risk aside, that the rescue of the remaining human race is the only option. He also knows that he owes it, to everyone. which brings us to Apollo Mc-fattypants: I’m not entirely sure what apollo’s malfunction is. he usually is the first to point out that which is both humane, and logical, and faced with this yet another series of hard decisions, all he’s managed to do is “bitch and moan”. What happened to him to make him believe that the efforts of the fleet are futile? Also... why is Apollo pregnant? I feel like the character really needs to take initiative for once, instead of being so reactionary. Tigh: Rolling Stone, Entertainment Weekly, and many other brain-dead publications have made a point to bridge the gap between the plots of BSG, and real world events. Most of the time, I’m kinda annoyed, as BSG doesn’t seem to be following any particular event, just writing using historical references to add a touch of authenticity to the story. But for the first time, the entire fleet resemble a very real, current day faction. With the recent use of Suicide Bombers (in bsg), I agree that Tigh has gone mad, but not to the extreme I imagine most people think. Tigh has always been one of my favorite characters, mostly because his extreme weaknesses perfectly counterbalance his strengths (hard-line military decisions, devotion to adama, selflessness). I imagine his time with the cylons gave him an opportunity to look the enemy in the eye, and I think he saw something extremely violent and gruesome. He obviously is beginning to forget about morality, in favor of being a despot, and the funny thing is that I’m not entirely sure I disagree with his approach. Sure, he’s sending people off to die, but extreme times require extreme measures. I don’t know if tigh has acknowledged this, but I think he may have willfully surrendered his humanity, so to save others from having to make these condemning choices. Ellen: was always an easy character to hate, and I don’t think I’ll ever like her. But I’ve gotta give her credit for what she did in order to save Tigh. Sure… trying to lead a cylon by his genitals probably wasn’t the brightest of ideas, plus she did betray the insurgents, but even that was for tigh’s protection. This is why I’ll always like the relation between tigh and ellen: sure they spite each other, and hurt each other habitually, but despite their dysfunctional relationship, they are completely devoted to the other. Leoban: is crazy. One thing I’ve noticed is that he’s rarely seen communing with his fellow cylons. Was he a flawed first? He tells Starbuck that in the end, she will hold him, and tell him she loves him… and the scary thing is that I think he’s right. Most of his prophecies tend to be true, which is what makes his madness even more horrifying. Sucks to be Starbuck. Sharon: When Sharon was re-integrated to the fleet, I could hear Shirley’s voice in the back of my mind shouting “YAY BOOMER!” (though neither of us refer to her as boomer… as in the preggers one). Rae on the other hand just doesn’t seem to like anything about the character. Frankly, I’m taking the middle of the road stance. While Sharon doesn’t have boomer’s excuse of ignorance, I do still feel bad for her from time to time, and it is cute how she and adama built a friendship… though… when she discovers that her baby is still alive, the shit is gonna hit the fan. Jammer: is stupid. Gaeta: has been my primary cylon suspect since the mini-series. He’s inconspicuous, perfectly place, and we know nothing about him. Now that he’s helping the insurgents, I’m not so sure anymore. However, his contributions have been passive, which seems to be his M.O. I’d really like to know more about him, but then again, if his contributions are merely a feint… then he is the perfect cylon. That is all PS: WHERE THE HELL IS DOC COTTLE?!?! | | Friday, October 6th, 2006 | | 4:49 pm |
you know, it's come to my attention that one of my favorite themes in story telling is the apocalypse. The dark tower, the stand, Cell, and especially BSG... I dunno what it is I find so appealing... or actually I do. I really like the idea of the population being cut down to a fraction, and having the space to do as I please. yeah, sure, there wouldn't be any electricity, and about 10 years down the road, I'd have to figure out what to do about my lack of vision. also, no more books or videogames. but still... biking down to Missouri to hole up (I'm thinking the stand/cell kinda apocalypse), and never having to deal with anyone again... sounds good to me. and honestly... how many people do you know deserve to live anyway? | | Thursday, October 5th, 2006 | | 6:10 pm |
| | Wednesday, October 4th, 2006 | | 6:29 pm |
I don't think I've been this bored all year. | | 3:49 pm |
Some things just never get old
this is really old news, pointed out by the super sexy jon stewart. But I will never get over Senator Ted Stevens (r-alaska) explanation of the internet _______________I just the other day got, an internet was sent by my staff at 10 o'clock in the morning on Friday and I just got it yesterday. Why? Because it got tangled up with all these things going on the internet commercially. So you want to talk about the consumer? Let's talk about you and me. We use this internet to communicate and we aren't using it for commercial purposes. We aren't earning anything by going on that internet. Now I'm not saying you have to or you want to discrimnate against those people [¿] The regulatory approach is wrong. Your approach is regulatory in the sense that it says "No one can charge anyone for massively invading this world of the internet". No, I'm not finished. I want people to understand my position, I'm not going to take a lot of time. [¿] They want to deliver vast amounts of information over the internet. And again, the internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes. And if you don't understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and its going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material. Now we have a separate Department of Defense internet now, did you know that? Do you know why? Because they have to have theirs delivered immediately. They can't afford getting delayed by other people. _________________________ | | Tuesday, October 3rd, 2006 | | 8:59 pm |
As a rule -
if you shit yourself over free stuff, I will never like you. | | 8:42 pm |
btw
The massive attack concert was easily THE best concert I've ever been to... not that I've been too many. it was very impressive considering how many factors massive attack had working against them/him It was at the orpheum, which is seats only (and everybody sat until the encore) and frankly, 3d did seem kinda lonely without the former band-mates. But really... amazing stage setup, great soundwork, and... well... I expected this to be low/mid-key... it wasn't; 3d ROCKED.OUT! No 1000th window, all mezzanine (and a little blue lines). Liz fraser was there too. Also 3d has the funniest dances. seeing them again is now my mission. though it was funny when the display showed the american flag (and then the union jack)... some people cheered... and it was like "wait a minute!" cuz knowing 3d, something was gonna burn. and it did. | | 8:01 pm |
The re-occurring themes of today have been finances and zombie infestation. the kicker is that i'd honestly prefer the zombie infestation. hell, it might actually be kinda cool. the consensus is that my apt would make for excellent fortification, as long as we're talking about the shambly moaning zombie, and not the speedy screechy kind... cuz then I'm just screwed. Current Mood:  aggravatedCurrent Music: Massive Attack ~ Inertia Creeps | | Monday, October 2nd, 2006 | | 1:26 pm |
| | Friday, September 29th, 2006 | | 1:51 pm |
Well it wasn't Boston A phrase I remembered really well as Rae and I rolled into probably the spookiest road in all of Rhode Island. But who the hell am I to complain? Myspace finally serves a purpose, and Rae was the sacrificial lamb, as it magically produced 4 Gnarles Barkley tickets to her yesterday. The catch? The concert was for that very night, and it was in Rhode Island. Which wouldn't have been that big a deal if I didn't work till 10:00pm 4 days a week. But thank you rae for trying to convince my Boss to release me... though apparently she forgot who you were. Cuz when anyone else asks if they could 'steal' someone, i'd hand the phone right over.... But for those who weren't keeping track, and when she says she's gonna steal, kidnap, molest, fight, kick, eat someone... you'd better believe that she’s gonna be charged with a felony. So off we go, and for the most part, the trip wasn’t too bad, although in retrospect, I’m a little disappointed that we didn’t pull over at the interstate line, and pee on Massachusetts. The concert, obviously, rocked. We were in the stands at the Rhode Island (Kingston) University stadium (ryan center)… so… no floor for us… but hey… TWAS FREE!!! The Gnarles Barkley Gettup this time: school uniforms. Go fig. Still a rockin’ show filled with plenty of funny jigs, and….. well it just rocked! The only thing I have to say is… god the crowd of Rhode Island University sucked. I mean… I know they’re in the middle of nowhere, and how there is nothing to do around there but drink and fuck, but still SHOW SOME LOVE!!! Never have I seen such a lousy crowd since Busta Rhymes. I mean, WHO THE HELL SITS AT A CONCERT!?!? *ahem* All in all though, great night, book ended by a visit to IHOP. Tis all. G’night! Edit: hee hee hee, the G-Strings. Current Mood: Baritone | | Tuesday, September 26th, 2006 | | 4:24 pm |
ummm travis... how much did you read about Megaman ZX?
cuz... Zero doesn't appear to be in it. Mega Man ZX offers a familiar but refined combination of action and platforming that will challenge even the most seasoned Mega Man veterans. The Good: Multiple Model X forms offer a variety of play styles; tough bosses and challenging level designs will test the skill of even the most experienced mega man players; great music. The Bad: Some of the levels and enemies blur the line between challenging and frustrating; the world map could use a lot more detail; save system can be too unforgiving. Mega Man ZX isn't the first Mega Man game for the Nintendo DS, but it's the first to bring the tough-as-nails, side-scrolling action the franchise is best known for. As the first action adventure Mega Man on the dual-screen handheld, Mega Man ZX doesn't force any touch-screen gimmicks into the game, but instead relies on a proven template lifted from the Mega Man Zero series on the Game Boy Advance. The result is a rewarding game for dedicated action-game fans, but also one that can't quite shake the feeling of familiarity. As the name implies, ZX feels like a mix of the Mega Man Zero and the Mega Man X games. In Mega Man ZX you can choose to play as a young boy named Vent or a girl named Aile. The two characters play slightly differently, and each one has unique story scenes throughout the game, but for the most part it doesn't matter which character you choose. You are a courier for a delivery company known as Giro Express. One day when transporting a shipment of a material known as biometal, you are attacked by evil robots known as Mavericks. In the scuffle you are exposed to the biometal, which gives you the ability to transform into Model X, a basic Mega Man prototype with a blaster and increased mobility. Since you can't do much in your human form, you'll spend most of the game in the Model X form. However, there are several different Model X forms, which you unlock by collecting new types of biometal as you progress through the game. The setup is similar to a Metroid or Castlevania game. Instead of starting at the beginning of a level and moving to the end, you are free to explore an entire maze of interconnected corridors and rooms at your leisure. There are data terminals located throughout the world where you can accept missions. You're given a choice as to the order in which you complete them, but you can work on only one mission at a time. The game isn't quite as open-ended as it sounds, because to reach certain parts of the world you need to visit other areas to defeat bosses and collect power-ups. For example, to get to a particular section, you might need to go through a purple door, which you can't do until you've obtained the purple card key, which you can't do until you've defeated a specific boss. In this way the game is still fairly linear, although you're still free to explore and collect items and discover secrets, albeit in a limited capacity. This structure works well, although it can lead to spending an inordinate amount of time aimlessly wandering around as you look for the area you need to visit next. It also doesn't help that the in-game map simply shows several blocks to designate each area, rather than a detailed map that might actually be useful. The most interesting part of the game is the Model X transformation mechanic. There are five different models to choose from. Essentially these different models are like different suits that you can equip on the fly to access new traits and abilities. There's a model with a saber and a blaster, a model that can fly for short distances, a model that allows you to throw a constant stream of deadly projectiles, and more. Because of the way the levels are arranged, you're rarely forced to use one specific model, although there's usually a clear advantage for one type over another. Often the key to getting past a particularly difficult area is simply trying it with a different model. The same is true for the game's many boss battles, as the bosses usually have unique weaknesses to specific types of attacks. The level and enemy designs are typical of Mega Man games. You'll see a lot of difficult platform jumps, spikes that kill you instantly, hazards like exposed electrical currents and grinding gears, and all sorts of enemy robots with unique weaknesses and attack patterns. Each area of the world has a different theme. There's an abandoned theme park; a dark, creepy forest; a manufacturing plant with cogs and assembly lines; and even a town area with regular, human inhabitants that you can talk to. Some of the levels are deviously difficult even on the easy setting, with blind jumps galore and enemies that reappear almost as soon as you kill them. Each area also has a miniboss fight, as well as a much more difficult boss battle at the end. The problem is that the save points in Mega Man ZX are few and far between, so if you expend all your lives battling a boss--or worse yet just getting to a boss--you have to do it all over again from the beginning. Since you usually have only a couple of lives, you'll invariably end up covering the same ground and fighting the same boss several times before finally completing the mission. The gameworld is quite large, and it can take a long time to run from one area of the map to another. The save system certainly compounds the difficulty and extends the time required for you to play the game, but it's also often aggravating, especially if you're able to play only for a few quick minutes at a time. If you've played the Mega Man Zero games, you'll be at an advantage here, but with the normal and hard difficulty settings there are still more than enough challenges that will put your thumb speed and dexterity to the test time and time again. Mega Man ZX makes little use of the unique features of the Nintendo DS. All of the action takes place on the top screen, while the bottom screen displays a range of information depending on which model type you're currently using. Most of the information isn't very useful, and, in fact, sometimes you won't see anything but a simple logo on the bottom screen. The touch screen isn't used for the most part, but that's a good thing given the nature of the game. The precision and timing required of you in Mega Man ZX mean that your full attention is required on the action on the top screen. So although there's little to no use for the bottom screen, you won't ever have time to notice, and the game doesn't feel lacking as a result. The presentation in Mega Man ZX looks good, but it isn't much of a step up from the Mega Man Zero games on the Game Boy Advance. The levels are all colorful and bright, with backgrounds that seem to stretch on forever in some cases. It's great to see visual touches like dark thunderheads looming large over a futuristic cityscape in the background, and the level of detail in each area is impressive. The enemies are typical of Mega Man games, with everything from annoying little dragonfly robots, to armored turrets, to giant bulldozers that fill up half the screen. Each of the X models that you can transform into has a unique look, mostly designated by color. Since there are several models, there are quite a few attack animations and effects for your character. None of the attack effects are impressive or even interesting to look at, though, which is somewhat disappointing given the apparent strength of each attack. The result is a repertoire of all-too-similar attacks that don't feel powerful and aren't nearly as gratifying as they could be. This game hardly uses the touch screen, but in this case that's a good thing. The sound is marked by some excellent music that keeps pace with the action throughout the game. Each area has a special theme, and some of them are good enough that you'll want to revisit a specific area just to hear the music again. There's also a little bit of spoken dialogue during a few of the cutscenes. However, it's all in Japanese. It sounds good, but with such a small amount of dialogue to work with it wouldn't have been difficult to include English versions of the voices as well. Mega Man ZX is a good game with plenty of challenge to offer fans of the series. Newcomers will find the game to be a harsh introduction to side-scrolling action games but should still be able to get by on the easiest difficulty setting. If you know what you're doing and don't spend too much time dying or wandering around the world, you could easily finish Mega Man ZX in four or five hours. However, with the multiple playable characters, difficulty settings, and secrets to find, you could easily spend twice that much time with this game. This game won't change the way you think about Mega Man, but it will remind you of why the series continues to garner new fans with each installment. | | Monday, September 25th, 2006 | | 8:46 pm |
| | 5:28 pm |
Ninja Gaiden Sigma
Just heads up, Tecmo is releasing yet another expanded version of Ninja Gaiden, this time exclussively for the PS3. Now, I think i've had my share of Ninja Gaiden for a while... I appreciate that a completely new group of people are gonna get ahold of it (depraved consumers...)... but every time i hear upon the extras... i salivate a little... then quickly wipe my chin and realize that this isn't a necessity... nor a ps3 seller. But for the sake of my own sanity, allow me to rationalize my lust with a classic a/s/l list Updated Graphics: but how updated? are the stages destructable? more interesting? Duel Ninja-to: FUCKING YES!!!! Spear: ... oh.kay. Expanded/remixed stages: ... would be nice Fighting Gomov: the guy was a pussy Fighting Bikers: cuz the horse riders weren't fun enough *rolls eyes* Rachel Playable: ewwwww! Rachel using a whip?: ... DAMN YOU TO HELL! PS3 required: DIE! Honestly, if this game was for the 360, i still don't know if I'd buy it. ... okay, that's a lie, but I won't like it! We really do need a new Ninja Gaiden. I know, I know, it's gonna look and feel exactly like the previous NG, but I NEEEEEDZZZ IT!!! |
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